EVP and EAP: the difference

What’s the difference between EVP and EAP?

In the paranormal sense, EVPs and EAPs are gathered in the same way: by use of a recording device.  These gadgets can range in type… it doesn’t really matter if they come from an H4 or a K-Mart blue light special, they are both sounds that are captured while attempting to gather evidence of the afterlife in audio form.  They are most often fumbled across when paranormal investigators are straining to hear any voice but their own from a little doohickey they’ve brought with them to an investigation.

Electronic Voice Phenomena, or EVP, is an audio recording of a ghost talking.  More often than not, these will be one- or two word phrases that have absolutely nothing to do with a question that was asked and should be considered 100% proof that a spirit is trying to communicate.  Sometimes they are crisp and clear sentences that directly answer an investigators questions, but these are only worth 50% proof because it is probably a misinterpretation or some dummy talking.  Electronic Audio Phenomena, or EAP, is a recording of other stuff like eerie sounding music and the sound of equipment that may/may not have ever been at the location.

A lot of people have adopted a rating selection for both EVPs and EAPs and like to label what their own audio captures are when they present them:

  1. A: super duper crystal clear.  Everybody can hear the same thing, without a headset or being told what it is.  These are probably fake so toss these out immediately.
  2. B: darn close to clear.  Most people can make out what is said or heard, but some people will have to be told what it is or swear it says something else.
  3. C: kinda clear, but not really.  These are the majority of really good captures because when they’re played back for people, the person who found them has to tell everybody what’s being said.  This makes the investigator look dedicated and everybody else look dumb if they don’t say, “Ohhhh, now I hear it!”
  4. R: who came up with this one clear.  Played backwards, the EVP says something.  It doesn’t matter if others hear it or not – it’s played backwards.  Only do this if you are an expert and only show this off if you can stand being revered by your peers.

According to ancient paranormal textbooks, EVP and EAP should not be confused with a disembodied voice; both EVPs and EAPs are never heard with the human ear whereas disembodied voices are heard by others at the time.  Of course all bangs, clicks, claps, smacks, dings, rings, bells and whistles are automatically caused by ghosts who do not have the power yet to fully manifest a whispered voice (everybody knows a ghost has to be dead for at least a hundred years for this omniscient ability).  So be sure to tag all of these as a ghost trying to communicate and spread this around.  It doesn’t seem to be catching on for some reason.


The investigation will not be televised!

Why do paranormal investigators hate shows about paranormal investigators so much? It seems like they’re always putting them down and I don’t get it.

I had initially figured that the answer to this question could only come from the wisdom of a withered old yak herder found roaming the foothills of the Himalayas.  Or at the very least, from the savvy street smarts of a Comic-Con vendor with a full set of X Men action figures to impress the ladies with.  But just like those REAL GHOST! NOT FAKE!!! vids plastered on Youtube, the trick is to look past the blinky lights and mute the eerie soundtrack long enough to see what’s really going on here.

But let’s set the record straight first: not all investigators hate on the paranormal television.  I myself dig on Destination Truth, and I must admit that Ghost Adventures is a show I’ll sometimes watch (but only because I can’t help but stare at Zak Bagans’ porcupine hair and wonder how he can afford all of that product but can’t seem to be able to scrape enough nickels together and go buy himself a belt).

So what preternatural force could possibly grip the devil’s ball-sack so tightly to cause such disdain for these shows?  It is puzzling that the interest in all things paranormal tends to follow side by side with the Nielsen Ratings, yet so many find it necessary to distance themselves from what is responsible for getting complete strangers to seek out other complete strangers for the sole purpose of coming into their homes to sit in the dark for a few hours.

Some insist these shows only fill the heads of viewers with buzzwords and falsehoods, like “EVP” and that playing with Ouija Boards will cause your house to explode.  Others will say that these shows don’t represent how “real” investigations go down, but those don’t sound like reasons to hate a show – they sound like something said in order to fit in… in other words, paranormal investigators *say* they hate paranormal television shows because of peer pressure.

No way, you say?  It couldn’t be that simple?  I can prove it: conducting an incredibly complex and scientifically challenging experiment, I hit the Googly and spent some time snooping around half a dozen paranormal forums chosen completely at random.  In nearly every instance, the number of topics filed under “Paranormal Shows” nearly tripled all of the other categories, combined.  The short and sweet of it is that when they say they don’t like paranormal shows, they’re fibbing.  If they didn’t like them then they wouldn’t watch them and they certainly wouldn’t spend so much time discussing them.  This is concrete science here, peeps.

And hellz-yeah I’d love to investigate with any of them – although some would be better than others – for example, would you rather be spending long hours looking for ghosts in a dark, cramped attic with Jael de Pardo, or Aaron Goodwin?

So to (finally, sheesh!) answer this thought-provoking question, paranormal investigators don’t hate shows about paranormal investigators.  They just say they do because they know if they don’t go along with what everyone else says, they’ll be outcast like that guy who farts on the elevator and everyone knows he farted (and he knows they know – how awkward).

And sorry about the earlier jab, Aaron – Jael is just way prettier than you are.   Please don’t fart in my elevator.

The deal with leprechauns

Hey Dex, since it’s St. Paddy’s day, what’s the deal with leprechauns?

Now I have it on good authority that Leprechauns actually live in boxes of Lucky Charms.  Apparently, kids are always after them.  But you can believe what you want.  Oh, and St. Patrick’s day – not St. Paddy’s Day – has nothing to do with the Wee Folk.  Unless you’re talking about people who drink too many pints of green beer…

Leprechauns have been a part of Irish Folklore since forever.  The mythology behind leprechauns, also known as the “wee folk” or Little People,  suggests that they came to Ireland on magical flying boats centuries before the Celts.  Descendants of the Tuatha De Danaan, leprechauns were led by Lugh the Long-Armed Warrior, who used a rainbow as a sling weapon.  After defeating the original inhabitants of Ireland, the Fir Blog, Leprechauns kicked it in Ireland doing what leprechauns do: dancing around and hiding their pots o’ gold at the end of rainbows.  They had no fear of other invaders due to their magical force fields.

Then came the Celts, and they had the badass iron swords that could pass through the force fields.  The Celts eventually ran the wee folk out and took over the entire island.  Defeated but not done in, the Little People used their Wee Magic and created magical entrances into the underground.  There is even a well-known magical entrance at Brugh na Boinne in Newgrange.  A side thing here – a nice poem about Brugh na Boinne and its history:

How is it named?
For the river that rises in the bog of Allen
And flows to the sea at Inver Colpa.
Called after Boand, Goddess of the rivers.
Peat dark and slow meandering
Making it’s lazy way through the land.

The Dagda had his house here,
And Angus Og after him,
In the wide bend of the river.
Angus of the generous hospitality,
With inexhaustible ale
And meat and fruit
To feed his many guests.

Lugh of the long arm lies here,
And Slaine, king of the Fir-Bolg,
Buried atop his hill.
Newgrange, Knowth and Dowth,
Look down on the valley.
Resting places of the great
Warriors and Chieftains,

It was here, at Linn Feic,
That the hero Finn McCumhaill
Caught the salmon of knowledge.
Burned his thumb on the hot flesh
And tasted before Finegas the Poet.

Wide green valley, lush with rich grass.
Cattle and sheep shall thrive here.
And fruit trees of all kinds shall flourish.
Fish abound in the stream,
And stags frequent the forest.

You shall not hunger long
In the Valley of the Boinne.

Modern day folklore tells us that Leprechauns are small enough to fit comfortably on your shoulder and always dressed sharply from head to toe.  They love dancing and playing tricks on people.  Their passion for dancing, according to William Butler Yeats, will always keep them in the need of shoes.  Maybe that is why I always think of cobblers when I think of Leprechauns…?  Anyway, if you can catch one, you can take their pot o’ gold, or get three wishes out of the deal (couldn’t I just wish for three pots o’ gold?).  Catching a Leprechaun is no easy task, though – but fear not!  There is a “How To Catch Leprechauns” guide!

some helpful sources: