Take me seriously, dammit!


The most annoying paranormal talking point is that orbs might be ghosts.  Only slightly less annoying (yet far more prevalent – go figure) is the “we must do THIS in order to be taken seriously!” talking point.

Somebody is always standing up on a soap box to declare how nobody is taking them seriously, usually in the form of a dictated way people should be doing things (it’s always those damned start up groups, ruining the reputation of everybody!).  Until they start doing it the way we say – because our 24 whopping months of being in a paranormal group with matching shirts affords us the right to dictate – they shouldn’t be lumped into the same boat as us!

Yes, yes – I get it: there is a huge difference between the “thrill seekers” and the “researchers.”  Researchers want to be taken seriously because paranormal research is serious biz after all, and anyone who puts considerable effort into this time-consuming work deserves to be recognized.  Right…?  I mean, the importance of this research will have mind-numbing consequences once they or their peers – but preferably they – eventually make that stunning breakthrough that has been overlooked  since the Dawn of Man, to reveal that one bit of elusive evidence that ghosts really do exist.  Dude!  How awesome will that day be?  They’ll be able to scoff at the skeptics, the cynics and lab coat wearing goons and say: “see!?  I told you they were real!”  The skeptics will rue the day, my friend – rue the day…

…Just one question, though.  Why?

Why do they care if people don’t care?  Why is it so important for people to stop in their  tracks and pay homage to this enthusiasm?  And why is it that the ones always demanding to be taken seriously are usually the ones that apparently have the “right way” to go about achieving the enormous task of getting everyone else on board?  This is the part that I don’t get.  At all.

Instead of telling everyone else how they should be doing things in order to create this mystical utopia where paranormal researchers are esteemed and prevalent as – oh, I don’t know… actual scientists – wouldn’t it be a little easier to just let their own research do the talking?  Maybe then, others would review it and say: “Gee, I want to do that, too.”

I guess leading by example is a dying art form these days…

The real reason to investigate


Paranormal investigators are kind of… a weird bunch.  From the eclectic to the esoteric, from the outspoken to the ones who seem desperate to be as invisible as the ghosts they search for in the dark – there are all kinds of them.

I’ve secretly always imagined many of them to be the adults who were picked on and teased as a kid, those unpopular children that never really found their calling or reached their full potential.  So, locked away in their rooms in front of a computer screen or curled up under the covers reading about fictitious characters with more of a life than they had – they found a cozy little niche where being on the fringes of society, rather than being at the heart of it, is not only accepted – it is expected.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not picking on paranormal investigators.  I am pointing out my assumptions from what I have observed over the years.  Before you start assuming that I hold myself removed from this observation, I will be the first to admit that I consider myself to be an introverted person; I do not go out of my way to draw attention to myself – at least not publicly.

Now that I’ve covered my ass in that respect, let’s get back to the paranormal investigators.

You see, there’s always been something about the troops who march off into dark and damp basements, hang around tombstones by the light of the moon and pontificate about why ghosts hang around such cruddy locations that bothered me: they never seem to do any real scientific study.  Sure, they can spout off a dozen paranormal theories faster than you can spank a monkey and their resolve is like a steel plate when it comes to their convictions about said theories – but what do they actually do?

It is not scientific to sit around in a grave yard taking pictures of dust.  It is not adding any credibility to some Supreme Consciousness to post a 30 second video of something that, with all due respect, could be anything other than a ghost – and I do mean anything…

But you know what it is?  It’s fun.  Yes, I am letting the cat out of the bag – if you want to know why a large portion of people investigate the paranormal, it is because it brings a lot of happiness to them.  It isn’t about proving ghosts exist or that some place is haunted really – it is about the social aspect of getting together with a bunch of like-minded people and having fun.

Let me stop you right there before you start getting all huffy & puffy over not taking this seriously.  Stowe your fake consternation in your bag o’ snob for a second and hear me out…  I never said they didn’t take what they’re doing seriously.  I said they did it because it was fun.  Contrary to some stupid, made up rule that a lot of other paranormal investigators like to preach about, belonging to a group and scouting locations that are rumored to be haunted can be interesting, entertaining, and yes – enjoyable.  It can bring people together who don’t find bragging about their kid’s latest triumphs with the Jones’ a nice way to spend their time, or who otherwise find the bar scene to be nasty and more of a fraud than many of the 30 second videos their Youtube account is competing with.

The majority of paranormal investigators probably didn’t get past high school science class and now, what… they’re supposed to provide credible scientific evidence of the afterlife armed with a video camera and a 6mp Kodak?  I don’t think so.  Let’s be honest for once and just say it: we do this because it is fun and we continue to do this because we are having fun with other people who are having fun.  Mystery solved.

Sorry if this bursts any bubbles, but it’s true.  And for those of you sitting in front of your computer screens right now, ticked off that I am demeaning your chosen field, relax.  You can still act like you’re on a mission to bring the average Joe the truth.  It will eventually be earth-shattering for them, I’m sure.

But for those of you who are planning out your latest adventures to creepy, abandoned old mansions and forgotten sites with your group of paranormal homies, take heed, friends… you are not alone.  Happy Hunting.